Happy in the Middle

Saturday was a beautiful day! We invited some friends out on the lake with their 3 kids. While the adults enjoyed trolling around the lake and chatting, the kids preferred going fast. They rode up in the front holding onto the rail and waited for water to splash their faces - fun times. After realizing that the kids were never going to tire of the boating, and after 8 hours on the lake, we finally decided to head in.

We stopped at Applebees on the way home. Both kids fell asleep on the car ride to dinner, but we brought them in anyway. Neither one of us wanted to cook dinner and Applebees sounded so good at the time. Both kids woke up (Roo was a little crabby) and we had a nice dinner.

By the time we got home - we were exhausted! We had a boat to clean-up and kids to put to bed - but all we wanted to do was lay on the living room floor and fall asleep - which coincidentally is exactly what Big J decided to do. He walked in the house, fell over in exhaustion on the floor, and started snoring. As a parent, I knew that I was not going to be able to fall asleep until the kids were asleep. Apparently, this thought did not concern Big J. He was snoring, right there in the middle fo the floor! I was in no mood to do the bedtime routine on my own and immediately yelled down to Big J, "Wake-up - you have kids to put to bed!" After 3 attemps to wake him up by shouting over the railing, I went down and shook him, grabbed his arm and practically carried Big J upstairs.

My instructions to my groggy husband were, "Watch the kids. I am going to get some water for Roo and a bottle for Ason. Help Roo brush her teeth, and don't let Ason fall off the bed."

As I get the water, I hear a THUMP! I think, "Boy will I be mad if that was Ason falling off the bed" Sure enough I hear Ason crying. I run back to Roo's room. She proceeds to tell me that Daddy was asleep on the bed, Ason crawled over him, fell off the bed, and she couldn't stop him because she was brushing her teeth - by herself.

Alright, I know Big J is tired, but so am I! So I alter my instructions. Read 3 stories to Roo, say prayers, and kiss her goodnight. He can handle that.

I go into Ason's room to give him his bottle and read him stories. As I settle into the glider chair with Ason on my lap, bottle in mouth, Roo comes walking in looking sad. "What's wrong, honey?" I ask. "Daddy stopped reading me stories. He fell asleep on my bed." Roo holds Ason's bottle while I check out Big J. Sure enough he is laying on Roo's bed, holding a book, snoring. The guy just can't wake up! I shake him. He bounces up and looks around for Roo - of course she is not in the room.

Trying to be sympathetic to his tiredness, I once again changes my instructions for him. Give Ason his bottle, read him a story, and put him in the crib.

I finish Roo's stories and prayers and kiss her goodnight. One kid down and I go to check out Big J's progress. I walk in to find Ason on the floor, empty bottle in one hand and a book in the other. Apparently, he fed himself the bottle, and was now reading his own book, BECAUSE HIS DAD WAS SNORING IN THE CHAIR!! It is actually getting funny at this point.

I wake him up for the fourth time and say "Go to bed. I'll take care of Ason. "

These instructions should be the ones he was looking for all along. But no. I quietly close Ason's bedroom door and tiptoe to our room where Big J should be sleeping soundly. Apparently he is now up and waiting for me - not a chance Big J!!

Roo got a hair cut the other day. These children's hair places are brillant. They put her in a chair with a TV in front of it. She picks a movie to watch and sits extremely still while they cut her hair. When it is all done, she gets a sucker. Great idea. Roo always picks some Princess/Dora movie and a purple sucker.

As we were getting prepared to leave, a little boy came in for his hair cut. He picked out a movie and the stylist asked his mom if it was okay for him to watch it. The movie was Spiderman - some cartoon version. I have never seen it - mostly because Roo always chooses a 'girly' movie. Anyway, his mom said no to the Spiderman movie and made him pick a different one.

I have no idea what was wrong with the movie and why she objected to it. She must know something I don't know about it. As far as I know, Roo has never heard of Spiderman, or has never had an interest in Spiderman - but that has all changed. Since hearing about the forbidden movie, she is fascinated by Spiderman. She wants a Spiderman birthday cake for her next birthday. I don't think she could even pick Spidey out in a line up, but she loves him. All because the little boy was not allowed to watch it, she has decided Spidey must be something good - and dangerous and therefore, she likes him.

What does this say about my future in raising her? In my previous post, I talked about being a rule follower. If my mom told me not to watch Spiderman, I don't think I would have. But Roo, on the other hand, wants to find out what the big deal is with Spiderman. Being told she can't (or hearing a little boy being told he can't) seems to have made Spidey more interesting to her.

So what do I do? "Hey, Roo, Drugs are no big deal. I don't care if you try them. "

"Let me know what time you are getting home tonight - or not, I won't be waiting up because it is not a big deal."

As long as I stay cool, she'll obey me - right?

Two happy kids in chairs.

Ason smiles differently now that he has 2 teeth. He likes to show them off! Here he is after climbing the stairs - very proud of himself.

I joined a golf league this year. The last time I golfed, was July 2nd last year and I was 8 1/2 months pregnant - and still managed to get a birdie that day (pretty proud of that!) Anyway, I joined this league with my friend Lori. I am a little rusty, but I am excited. Joining the league means that now I have to follow the rules of the game. No more kicking the ball out of the rough. No more mulligans. No more gimmies. No more guessing at my score because I don't want to count the shot in the pond.

To be prepared for my first day, I went over the rules - so that I wouldn't confuse them with the rules I have made up over the year. I wanted to be sure that I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of the other league members for not knowing what the red stakes meant. So Lori and I walk up to the first tee box and meet our partners that day. I hit first. It is a great drive - off to the right. Oh well, could be worse. Next one of our partners tees off - a popper. Not a good shot at all. Too bad for her, right? Well, not exactly. She pulls out another ball and says, "I am taking a mulligan on that one." And then she winks at us!

Wait a minute now. She is breaking the league rules - no mulligans. I don't really care, but she's cheating and we are competing against each other!!! Why did she think that was okay?

I have always been a rule follower. In seventh grade we saw a video about the dangers of drinking alcohol. The rule/law says you can't drink until you are 21. And for the most part, I followed that rule. After seeing the video, I came home to tell my mom that I didn't think people in my grade would drink alcohol because we saw a 'really good video' explaining why we shouldn't. At that time I couldn't imagine anyone seeing the video and then deciding to drink. So naive.

Why am I this way? If someone asks me to meet them at 10 AM, I show up at 9:45. I stop well ahead of all stop signs. I never go through a red light (even if it is 2 AM and no one is around). I never speed (oh wait, I take that back, but I don't speed much!) I don't yell "FIRE" in a crowded room. I don't swear (at least not in front of the kids.)

I am not saying that I wish I broke more rules. I just wonder why I don't even think of breaking the rules and others can do it so flippantly. Maybe I break more rules than I think.

Do you ever break rules? Do you care if you do? Do you sleep well at night?

I remember someone telling me before my wedding day to take snapshot pictures in my mind so I could remember the day. She said the day will go by so quickly and before you know it, it will be over. I did take pictures in my mind and still remember them today. Click.

The same has always been said about raising children. "They grow up so quickly." I understand this statement now more than ever. My daughter, Roo, seems to be such a little girl - and she was just a baby yesterday!

We have a funny rule at our house. No growing. I say this to Roo when she seems to be older than I want her to be. Today she zipped up her coat all by herself. She was so proud standing there with her coat all zipped up. Click. Yes, I am happy about it, but she doesn't want me to help anymore. Yeah, I'll get over it, but it was fun being her mom and helping her zip her coat. Trust me, I know there is more out there for me than zipping my daughter's coat. It is just that this small accomplishment ends this small stage - and I just want to cherish it all!

I took a few other snapshot pictures in my mind today. I was feeding Ason his evening bottle in his room. Although he can hold the bottle by himself, I love to hold his evening bottle for him. Click. Something special about that time with him. I had classical music on (making him smarter by the minute I'm sure) and I was sitting in the glider. Roo knows to stay in her room and pick out books for bed until I am done, but tonight she popped her head in and whispered, "Will you help me put on my princess watch when you are done?" She held up her princess watch so I could see it. I nod 'yes.'

A few minutes later she pops her head in again and whispers, "Have you seen my princess watch?"
I whisper back, " Well, you just showed it to me a few minutes ago."
"I can't find it."

I love the fact that she actually thought I might know where it is, even though I had not moved from the glider chair in Ason's room. The best part is that I told her to go look on the floor of her room. She went to look and came back with the watch, "Thanks Mom, I found it on the floor." Click.

She might be zipping her own zippers, but she still needs me!

Have you ever had to fill in a survey where they ask you: What are your favorite hobbies?
I always seem to agonize over that one. Or when you meet a new group of people and you are supposed to go around and tell, "one thing you really like to do."

Big J and I agree on one thing. Having a passion is GREAT! Having something you like to do seems to define you. But what am I supposed to do when I don't have that one big passion? Big J has passions - things he likes to talk about all the time. Things he likes to do in his spare time. And it is the same things all the time - wetlands, fishing, boats, hunting - oh yeah, and his family.

I, on the other hand, like lots of things. I like to golf - I joined a league this year. I like playing tennis with a double partner. I like working with kids - especially teaching reading. I like being with friends and family - talking, I LOVE talking! I like riding my bike. I like to help others out. I like reading - I am in a book club. But doing too much of something drives me crazy. I need to change it up! I like new experiences. I'll try just about anything (except for eating). And I usually always enjoy it. I even tried out Fantasy Football this fall.

Does this make me passionate? I don't know. Is passion limited to one activity, or can it be a passion for experiences in general? Do you have a passion? That one thing you really love to do? Or are you like me - passionately searching for that one special passion?